I am the Queen of the Fitting Room Empire.

I try to rule it well, but any kingdom is given to tantrums at times. When all should be in order, it is not. When rooms should be empty and neat, they are overflowing, items on the walls and racks and seats and floors just beginning to spill into the hall, where hangers that are all the wrong sizes become hazards for ladies who think it is alright to pretend they do not see the sign that clearly states 5 ITEMS and proceed to wheel their loaded cart right in, leaving with the 5 things that they actually buy. From this untamed wilderness, there is no escape. Save the break room.

Not the room where you take a break, but the room that breaks you. Where others eat your food and make a mess, where vending machines steal your money, and where the voices that call to you so insistently can still be heard. Personally, I just wish it would get over it’s multiple personality disorder and decide once and for all whether it wants to be a star-spangled-banner or a jungle safari.

– June 10th, 2010

Old sentiments are becoming true once again! The unruly Kingdom has degraded to almost evil Empire status, sad to say. Unwanted pieces of cloth are now tossed into cribs where even babies could never sleep; those garments with cheery yellow tags are used as fillers. Members of the court are cast out indefinitely for… active promiscuousness. Others have sought higher court offices in more substantial, less mind-boggling kingdoms. As a result, those of us who are alive and remain have been given both increases in duties and decreases in alloted time away from the concrete castle that rules our fate. Rules our doom.

On the whole, however, I am merely happy to inform you that the safari has made it’s long overdue departure. It has been replaced by dangled butterflies.

Adventures of a Department Store Associate: Take 2 More Shifts